Saturday, April 4, 2015

How to feel good about yourself quicker?

Although I believe that ultimately we need to base our confidence internally on who we are, I do think it is necessary to constantly remind ourselves about our self-worth base on things we perceive from the external world, especially when we are new in this journey of developing our self-confidence.

One of the best way to feel good about ourselves is by identifying certain things about ourselves that we like. Whatever skills, traits or expertise that we possess, take a hard look at those things and find something amazing about those things.

What's even more powerful is identify certain group, community, race or any group of organization that you mostly identify yourself with, and find positive things about those groups. This will automatically boost your confidence by associating yourself with such group. 

We human beings are group creatures, we always belong to groups or want to belong to groups. Our acceptance is based on acceptance of ourselves as well as acceptance of our culture, backgrounds and heritage. A person can be rejected because of things this person does, or because of the culture or race that this person belongs to, it has the same psychological affect.

So if you want to feel good about yourself, find out what group you are obviously identified with. For example, your race and nationality is one of the first thing that you identify yourself with. There is no denying of what you look like no matter how hard you try to hide it. The people who tries very hard to reject their own culture and race will never have the confidence that the people who accept their culture will have. Once you identify yourself with your race, start exploring both the positive and negative of the people in your race. I know we are living in the world heavily influenced by mainstream stereotype that the media is promoting, so in our mind, certain race is doing certain things only. You know this is not true. You just need to spend more time getting to know more about the people in your race, you will be surprised (or you should've known it earlier) that the people in your race and culture comes with all kinds. Not everyone is engineer/businessman/rapper/drunk/etc. I believe you know it logically, but you need to experience it personally by getting to know your people deeper and develop more bonds. You will understand the good, the bad and the ugly of your culture and there is no judgment but acceptance. You will face the negative stereotype with smile and ease, knowing that it's something that does exist in your culture, which you have come to peace with and you know that doesn't affect your own personal self-confidence, it doesn't make you an inferior person. You will be cool about it, afterall, it's just cultural stereotypes and you no longer take it personal.

Are you identified with people with certain traits or experience? For example, have you been a soldier before? Have you been an athlete before? Have you been a teacher before? Have you been an engineer before? 

Try to think of something positive about these professions or group of people that you know you are part of. For example, when it comes to teachers, I think teachers are great at explaining things and they are very patient. So if you are a teacher or were a teacher, you should feel good about yourself by thinking to yourself  'Yup, I am a f**king teacher, what do you expect?'

Start telling yourself this:

Yup, I am a motorcycle rider, what do you expect?

Yup. I am a martial artist, what do you expect?

Yup, I studied chemistry for years, my nose is more powerful than the dogs, all chemists are like this.

Yup, My last name is ABC, and you know ABC family is known for ___, it's family tradition, i got some of that too.

Yup, I am a construction worker, all construction workers are good at ___, and I got some of that too.

Yup, I am good at video games, all gamers are good at ___, i am good at this before I even realized it.

Yup, I am an Asian, all Asians can do wonders with chopsticks, I started using it when I was 2 and I can pick up 2 chicken wings at once with them easily

The list goes on..

So, start thinking about what group you are associated with or can associate with and start feeling good about yourself by giving those common traits positive spin. If you can't think of one, then start asking yourself what do you want to become part of and what can you do to get started.

Start feeling good about yourself!

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