Monday, April 6, 2015

Seeing yourself in a different way changes your level of self-confidence

Have you ever wondered why nobody seems to appreciate you the way you want to be appreciated? Do you even struggle to build self confidence so that others will respect you more? Are you always unsure of yourself in front of others and therefore you are looking for others to give you a greenlight in every step of the interaction?

If you are having any of the above, chances are you are seeing yourself pretty low. You don't want others to see you deeper because you are afraid to take them there. Take sales for example, if I am a restaurant waiter holding a menu in front of customers, who are asking me how several dishes are prepared, and i am asking them, the way I make my recommendation to the customers is depended on how much I believe in those dishes myself. If I really like that dish and I have recommended it to many customers, i would recommend it to this one because I am confident about this product. What about the dish that I don't know about? Have you ever encountered waiters not answering the question with enthusiasm? He just wanted to stir your attention away from this dish because he doesn't want to get into too much detail of it. As a result, you as a customer will naturally lose interest on this dish even if it might be something you would like. 

Same thing with how we look at ourselves in very day life, it creates entirely different reality that we are living in. A lot of us want others to tell us that our dishes are good first so that we build the confidence about this dish and start actively recommending to others. A lot of us want others to praise us and give us credits first so that we will feel good about ourselves. However, it will never happen. It has to be the other way around, just like recommending dishes. 

We have to see ourselves differently first and start letting this new views carry us throughout the life, then others will response differently. Remember, it's the same dish. If you believe in this dish, the preparation, the ingredient and the taste, you will talk about it in a very different way. You may sound boring, exaggerating to some ears, but you will also captivate others, in addition, you definitely get all's attention on this dish. If you don't believe in this dish, you won't talk about it much, you will hide it from people's attention. Kind of like how we hide ourselves from people's attention, how we avoid putting ourselves out there to meet people, how we choose to pass the new opportunity etc. 

The truth is that, the dish is the dish, you as a human being is the way you are. The way you look at yourself is nowhere near to the truth of who you are and how you be, it is also far cry from how others see you. Everybody has different perceptions about the world. There are countless examples to proof it: We never agree on the same thing, we never appreciate the same movie, we never have the exact same taste, we never like or hate the same person the exact same way and the list goes on. 

If you see yourself pretty low because of whatever reasons you give in your life, chances are, others don't look at it the same way. However, if you already give up and start withdrawing yourself from the world, people will just assume what you believe in yourself is true and will never try to force you to come out and reveal your true self. You will never get the validation you want unless you validate yourself first. 

Start looking at yourself differently. If you want to sell your dish, start appreciating it, find the reasons why it should remain on the menu. If you want others to respect you, find things that you can respect yourself first, even better, start doing things that will make you respect yourself first.

So what are some of the things out there that makes you tell yourself 'It would be so cool if I could do that!', and ask yourself what are the steps you can start taking right now to accomplish those things?

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